WRITTEN BY DEREK WONG
I CAME BACK FROM MY SECOND YEAR OF UNIVERSITY WITH A FEELING I'VE NEVER HAD BEFORE.
My stomach twisted into a knot. I’ve become quieter, a lot more cautious. Everything I ate, drank or did left me with an empty feeling. This was self-doubt, low self-esteem, and an overall sensation of self-regret for all the little f*ck ups I’ve committed, whether social, academic, or just in general. No matter how serious or frivolous the matter was, it was undeniable that it bothered me. That, in turn, leads me to today, to discuss the nature of mental endurance and resilience in our modern-day culture.
It must be acknowledged today that our generation, me included, is currently branded as the “snowflake generation”. We’re the ones who can’t deal with our failures, who seem entitled to a certain quality of life, and are always looking to blame others for our mistakes. Yet, what isn’t as understood is the fact that we’re growing up within an unfavourable geopolitical environment, with the Covid-19 pandemic, a cost-of-living crisis, and an emerging economic recession. Reinforced by the echo chamber that is social media, it is easy to fall into a state of resignation at the first sign of trouble, something that doesn’t seem to occur among the older generations of people. Yet, despite these circumstances, being weak is no excuse. Falling into that state of resignation and blaming poor situations on external excuses will never change your situation.
Now, there are most definitely aspects of our lives which we simply cannot control, and at times, those events can affect us in a negative way. Moreover, with enhanced social media, overflowing with constant highlights of other people’s lives, it has fostered this need for everybody to feel exceptional, to be as if you’re always living those constant highlights. For example, the first time I truly felt loss was when I missed out on my grades to go to my dream university. Looking back, it seems frivolous now, yet being successful, getting in and developing into greatness was something that I was obsessed with. Looking back, I now recognise that taking that first “L”, and taking any other subsequent “L’s” were tough lessons that we all need to take. Without that first “L”, I wouldn’t have gained a Spanish diploma, received a part-time tutoring position, or even started writing in the first place.
My dad told me once that there are two types of people in this world. There is the oak tree, who grows to be strong, hard, and large; and the bush, while not as large, is flexible and adaptable. Despite the larger and stronger nature of the oak tree, it is not the oak but rather the bush, which survives a typhoon. I was told this story during the summer break of my second year of university, having dealt with the pressures of sub-standard grades, catastrophic student housing and an overall scarred second year. This demonstrates that being resilient does not entail being strong and stoic, but rather to maintain a positive attitude and mentality to be able to be adaptable and find a way around those external circumstances.
Now, there are most definitely aspects of our lives which we simply cannot control, and at times, those events can affect us in a negative way. Moreover, with enhanced social media, overflowing with constant highlights of other people’s lives, it has fostered this need for everybody to feel exceptional, to be as if you’re always living those constant highlights. For example, the first time I truly felt loss was when I missed out on my grades to go to my dream university. Looking back, it seems frivolous now, yet being successful, getting in and developing into greatness was something that I was obsessed with. Looking back, I now recognise that taking that first “L”, and taking any other subsequent “L’s” were tough lessons that we all need to take. Without that first “L”, I wouldn’t have gained a Spanish diploma, received a part-time tutoring position, or even started writing in the first place.
I WOULD SUGGEST
Ensure that you create a comfortable home environment. Feng Shui in Chinese culture suggests that you need to arrange your furniture in a certain way; but to me, I interpret this as just ensuring that you live in a comfortable home environment. This was something I neglected in my second year of university, and it has caused me to be unmotivated, uninterested and overall unhappy.
Surround yourself with people who you feel comfortable with. There are people with many different personalities around, and it is obvious that it is important to get along with a wide variety of people. However, similar to your home environment, your comfort zone needs to be filled with people who are overall similar to you, or with people who at least accept who you are as a person.
Maintain a healthy routine. Eating healthy, staying active and maintaining a steady routine allows one to stay sharp, motivated and full of energy. Moreover, participating in these activities in a social setting would aid in the second point as well.
Always ask for help. Acknowledging your own limitations and staying humble allows you to not view someone else’s achievements as a hindrance to your progress, but rather as an opportunity for you to learn as an individual.
Finally, it may be worth taking a break when things get really hard. Not only does a break allow you to maintain a distance from the problems you’re facing, but it also allows you to view those problems from a different perspective, potentially even understanding why things did not go well for you.
Having struggled through a slump throughout second year myself, I’ve recently started to follow this advice again, which even at a short term level has provided a significant improvement to my quality of life at university. Moreover, it’s given me a fresh burst of motivation to push through the rest of my degree and ultimately reform all those bad habits I’ve faced last year. Perhaps, building a sense of resilience and learning to appreciate the nature of your setbacks are keys to a more stable and healthy state of mind.
