Poem on Men’s repressed emotions by Shayan Shah:

The Strongest Man

There he is,
The strongest man,
The man of steel,
The Shah.

They say he built a whole village.
such a strong man.
with his bare hands!
The strongest man.

What nobody knows,
was what he’d seen,
death after death,
as brother after brother,
fell before his teary eyes.
Teary eyes that were forced,
Time and again to hold back,
Tsunamis of pain, Typhoons of disdain.

Disdain for the world that took from him,
his need to weep,
Disdain for himself,
for Father said tears made him weak.

Let me take you,
to a time long ago,
when the strongest man,
was but just a little angel,
who yearned to cry,
as much as he yearned to laugh,
who needed to be held in anger,
as much as he needs to be held with love.

One day, the strongest man
watched his younger brother
get swept away by the falling boulders,
gobbled up by the unforgiving stream,
Never to be seen.
one moment his beloved
Stood before his joyous eyes.
Stood in a heavenly land
Surrounded by a ring of godly mountains,
green pastures to the side,
the promised river full of milk and honey,
gushed and meandered through the land of the gods.
The next moment his beloved
was out of sight, as if he never was,
now he stood surrounded by
demons that towered,
laughing at his fate,
celebrated their loot,
mocked the little angel,
and the love and life he had lost.

A blazing flame arose
where the once milky river flowed,
He dared to let go of all he was taught,
allowed his body to release,
A scream so loud
That would shake the demons to their core,
A scream of fear and agony
deserving of the loss of his beloved
full of pain, full of disdain

Does this sound like a strong man?
“Shush! How dare you weep?!”
don’t be such a girl,
Be a man! Be a strong man!
Be the strongest man!
The strongest man
That does not shed a tear!”
“Never again will I shed a tear!
Never Again!
I am the strongest man!”

The Strongest Man

“I visited my paternal home, a tiny village called Raminji, perched on a 3000m tall mountain, after a long 18 years. The trip was long overdue for more than one reason. I connected with my family, my land and my deceased ancestors. This poem came to me after I returned to Hong Kong and started connecting deeper with my grandfather, Mehboob Shah, “The Strongest Man”. This poem is not just about him, it’s about all men, all of the “strong” men. It’s about time we learned to cry and “be like girls”.

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Poem on guilt by Nasheya:

Finally Free
I’ve sat with all this guilt
for decades
eating me alive,
with my insides rotting
and then I wonder,
how this cancer?
Like worms that ravish their meals,
this guilt savours every bite
of my prostate,
decaying, and allowing
the shameful maggots
to consume every last bit of it.

It seems delicious to it,
but to me it hurts
as my insides burst,
clench, tighten inwards,
unable to release all of that
heavy energy I carry within,
as if a child of my own
grows within,
but this child only
takes and takes,
as it expands
with each passing day,
with each domino falling
one after the other,
all my family shun me,
as if I’m a gross disease.

Losing all those who claimed
to love me
will be far from easy,
so I might as well keep
myself locked in till my dying breath,
never having to face
another day of shame,
another blemish on my name.
When I am not around,
no one will be able to remind me
of the maggots growing inside me,
no one to haunt me,
but oh I was wrong—
I’ve just become a
lone ship in the ocean,
even though I was
surrounded by my kin;
ostracised from
my own blood,
my ancestors,
forbade me from ever
letting my kin in,
afraid their unconditional love
would suffocate,
I kept on living,
showing them a different me,
when all I ever wanted
was for them to see me, as me;
One full of love,
One full of life,
One who got wounded as a child,
and of whom could never escape.

But now that I am here,
I set myself free,
I allow myself to receive
all the love You have to give me,
And I know I will always
be smiling and laughing through You.

Finally Free

“I wrote this poem for my grandad, who passed away a few years ago. He came to me during an intense meditation, and I felt the guilt he had been carrying all along as a man who wronged his family, who didn’t have space to feel and express his emotions, who wanted love but drowned in his guilt. This poem reiterates how important it is for men to express their feelings and allow room for self-love even amidst mistakes; love is the one thing that can save us from our shadows.”

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The last few years, I’ve been

faced with scenarios my subconscious 

had nightmares about,

betrayal, hurt, grief – 

everything accumulated together

in a vortex of hurdles 

spinning around you, 

out of control,

going on and on,

endless,

like swirling dervish,

worshiping God, 

surrendering to His will,

The divine power,

The divine force,

pushing you in directions 

you could never fathom,

you could never control,

letting go of control 

brings another kind of liberation,

Freedom,

Peace,

Love

as if flowing with the current of the ocean,

taking it with you to the depth of

its infiniteness,

its vastness, 

through stillness and motion.

I am the ocean 

surrendering to god  

like the waves that bow each time

they crash on the seabed,

allowing themselves to be free,

with the flow of life,

The life force 

that pushes 

it forward, 

backwards,

waves of emotions,

never static,

never still,

always in motion, 

even in stillness,

I am the ocean.  

Ocean of 

love,

healing, 

all those that

touch me,

hold me,

caress me,

I reverberate my energy 

through them,

sending infinite love,

the power of the ocean,

I am the ocean.

Context: 

I wrote Surrender to remind people that through all the ebbs and flows of life, including stressful situations that can break our resolve, we will find liberation even in the darkest times if we surrender to the divine will. Divine will can comprise God’s will, the will of the universe, and the force of nature, which are not in our control. By surrendering to this, we allow ourselves to be free from the illusion of control, accepting that the only way to find peace, to alleviate stress is by accepting whatever comes our way, with love.

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All my life, I was sheltered from “negative” emotions by my father: sadness, pain, grief, sorrow, cries. He wanted me to always be  “happy”, smiling and upbeat. Now, at 31, I finally understand what he meant all along– the need to maintain a positive mindset and not let our past trauma or tragedies of life defeat us, break us and allow us to give up. Although I agree with his teachings and am grateful for them, I had to learn another important lesson the hard way: it is OKAY to be sad, cry and grieve when life happens. 

Therefore, on this International Happiness Day, I want to shed light on a fundamental issue that all of us face, especially in the Social Media Era where there is a constant expectation to be a certain way, to showcase our “incredible” lives and to keep up with other incredible lives that we constantly inhale while scrolling. We are frequently expected to be “happy” and live a life full of wondrous joy, shared laughter, and cheerful occasions, and we are expected to hide the other side of the coin: the sad and the painful. In our attempt to be happy, though, we overlook the significance of hurt and sorrow in our experience of life; how, without misery, joy is also incomplete. If we are unable to face and process our trauma and grief, then life will pass us by, and we will fail to be immersed in the present moment. Being in the present moment is not limited to being present in the joyous moments. 

Still, it expands to the idea that no matter what is happening around us, externally, we need to pass through it, like a body scan at the airport that passes through every corner of our being as we stand and wait. On this day of celebrating happiness, I also want to celebrate sadness, the Yin and Yang of emotions that make us human.

As I write this now, it’s only been three weeks since my cat died… my baby’s death. But despite having lost my cat, who was also the love of my life, I can attest to having incredible “happy” moments even during this excruciating period of grief. I’ve cried and bellowed for hours for her but also marveled at magnificent rock formations in Thailand. I’ve broken down in unbearable physical pain over her loss, but I’ve also risen in ecstasy with my friends and family. I’ve wished to wake up from this nightmarish reality but also pinched myself from disbelief of the dreamiest dreams I’m living. Both have been and are still happening in my life simultaneously and have given me the luxury to live eternally, entirely in the present moment. Delight and despair are the Yin and Yang of life. The two emotions that make each other whole. One without the other is incomplete, just as life without death is unfinished. It is also important to remember to celebrate pain and sorrow just as we celebrate happiness and joy.

I am not blind to the reality that in most parts of the world, the sadness and the yang of our lives outweigh the happiness, joy, and cheerfulness. Millions worldwide have only ever seen sorrow and pain. We must extend them a hand, a listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on and express their grief. It is also crucial that we actively make an effort to ease their ongoing despair. It is our duty, the ones who are fortunate enough to possess the luxury of playing a balancing act between glee and glumness, to expend into the universe our work that can help those who suffer in absolute sadness. It is our role as the privileged ones to not only face our sadness and heal but use our healing to alleviate their sadness, share our bliss, and spread love amongst them. We can help by trying to create moments of joy for them and being a support during difficult times, not walking away when the journey gets painful.

I want this day to be a reminder that happiness is not only shared through positivity and jubilation but also true happiness; true peace comes from facing all that life throws at us together and embracing the changing waves of life, no matter how overwhelming it might be. To come together not only for birthdays and weddings but show our most profound participation at funerals and death anniversaries. To not celebrate happiness as a one-sided coin but with its entirety, its unbreakable bond with sadness. I promise to share the unchallenging, triumphant, and beautiful but also the difficult, defeated, and ugly.

source: Pinterest (

freepik.com

)

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The word allowing rolls on my tongue 

like chocolate spread 

on a perfectly heated slice of bread,

seeping through 

my core and 

reaching into the 

deepest parts of me,

As I take in this

permission I’ve granted myself,

that I’ve breathed into myself.

It feels so freeing 

like a bird soaring through mountains,

flying past beautiful, majestic trees,

gliding in bright blue skies,

never being hindered by the beauty around,

only reaching higher by the beauty that surrounds.

My heart skips several beats as it 

catches glimpses of reality,

oozing out pure love for the vitality

consuming the earth,

in its trees, it’s oceans, it’s hills,

that roll into mountains

and becomes one with the skies.

The energy vibrates through me 

uncontrollably,

unapologetically,

unwaveringly,

merges me with the universe

and carries me through dimensions

that break barriers

and transcend into vibrations of love,

as if I’m a white dove,

pure, magical, filled with ecstasy that

pulsates through

my feathers,

my bones,

even if people throw stones

at me,

around me,

through me,

I breakthrough and I rise

as high as my soul

may carry me. 

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Frozen Pain

by Nasheya Peracha

It’s in my body like some gross disease,

the pain of blocked energy

stemming from anxiety,

no one stops to ask

Why did the pain freeze?

Why is it that pain finds solace

in our warm bodies? 

It’s as if it’s protecting itself

from the cold that resides outside

our flesh,

our blood,

our beating hearts,

that give hope to the pain

it doesn’t receive from

the frozen souls that wander,

they make you wonder,

how barren it is in winter,

that shrouds the hurt earth,

never knowing 

when to stop,

when to pause. 

Pain keeps freezing,

till it becomes ice inside,

stays with you through

sunny summers

flowery springs

orangey autumns,

never leaving even

when winter outside is over,

the pain,

Remains.

Until a warm soul melts it with a hug,

or a big fat jug

of delicious kisses,

that pour over that body and let

love seep in,

create holes for the frozen pain

to melt away

like the sun’s rays

that save winter days,

making them

beautiful,

joyful,

wonderful;

the pain, too, becomes incredible,

something to celebrate

something to thank

as it protected you when there was no love,

it sheltered you from the coldness outside

but now, with the warmth of love

it can reside peacefully within you,

not frozen;

it now comes and goes

like waves on a shore,

and with love

leaves you smiling even more.

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